I'm a WHAT!
by kidishcaresh
Summary: One spiked cocktail, one gundam pilot and a nights rest; the next morning all hell broke loose when he found that he was now a she. Pairings: 3x4, 2xH, 1x?, 5x? and possibly 1x5
1. Chapter 1

**Title: G-cocktail.**

**Author: Kidishcaresh**

**Pairing: 02x05x01**

**Word count: **

**Timeline: AU-ish**

**Author notes: A spur of the moment fanfics that hit me out of the blue at 2:16 in the friggin night. I demand plot bunnies that bite me during the day instead of kicking me outta my bed in the middle of the night…I blame my insane relatives for this.**

**Summary: One spiked cocktail, one gundam pilot and a nights rest; the next morning all hell broke loose when he found that he was now a she.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC's and the idea.**

**Chapter 1,**

He groaned as his alarm went off. The other night was vague at best. He remembered the party at Preventers HQ, talking to his friends while sipping that cocktail thing Sally said he should try and having a surprisingly good time and finally returning home and feeling strangely lightheaded and dizzy which he attributed to one too many cocktails. None of these were reason to cause him such a massive headache.

He turned the alarm off and tried to recall where he was right now. Not his home, that much was certain. Right, he spent the night at Quatre's apartment with the blonde, his lover and the other two former pilots. Curse Winner and his puppy eye technique and curse whatever caused this headache.

He groggily walked to his bag and searched for some clean clothes. He noticed a strange sensation as he bend over to grab the clean clothes; he ignored it in favor of cursing that blasted throbbing in his skull. Mulling over the previous night and dismissing several things instantly as not being a reason for his head to attempt splitting in two. He'd not been drunk enough to have a hangover and even drove the other four clearly drunk men to Quatre's apartment. It couldn't be the noisiness at the party since it was aside from some nice conversation quite dull. He didn't fall, or hit his head. His head did not pound this badly when he went to sleep the other night.

Dismissing the why of the pain in favor for raiding Winner's medical cabinet of its supply of pain medication Wufei headed to the bathroom. He went in Ignoring Duo in favor of pain relief. The braided boy however stopped mid protest and stared at the closed bathroom door.

"Oi…now I know I drank too much last night…" he sighed, heading back to his room to sleep off what he believed to be a drunken stupor.

'Chang with boobs? Yeah when hell freezes over.' he thought before going back to sleep again.

Wufei on the other hand let out a triumphant whoop as he found the painkillers and popped two of them into his mouth followed by a glass of water. He sighed relishing in the comforting thought that his head would stop its persistent pounding soon. He then closed the door of the medicine cabinet and turned to slip off his boxers so he could take a much needed hot shower.

Throughout the apartment Wufei's shocked outcry was heard. Quatre cursed vehemently at whoever shrieked like that so early in the morning. He was in hangover hell and his lover was not helpful. Trowa having his own hangover growled something among the trend of feeding whoever cried to the lions then turned over and tried to return to blissful unconsciousness. Quatre then decided that Wufei was a big boy and could handle things himself before curling up to his lover's side and joining said lover in blissful sleep.

Two doors away Heero sat up. He pushed aside the after effect of the previous night's alcohol intake and was instantly on his feet and out the door. With his gun in hand he approached the shower. Duo met him halfway there and the two prepared to apprehend whoever caused their friend to cry out in such a terrified way. Duo kicked open the locked shower door and Heero aimed his gun at the nearest person he saw.

"I-is that…where's Wufei?" Duo said staring at the unconscious naked woman in Quatre's shower and then at the rest of the otherwise empty room.

"Don't know. Find her some clothes. We'll question her when she wakes up. Warn Winner and Barton while you're at it. I'm going to confirm security." Heero said easing out of the shower and down the stairs to confirm that there was no one else who entered the house. Duo nodded and hurried off the grab the girl some clothes before bursting into Quatre's room.

Duo ignored the two dark glares that promised much pain and retribution for this intrusion.

"Wufei's gone missing, unknown girl in the shower. Heero's confirming security. Get yer hung-over asses out of bed now." Duo said calmly. He had neither time to mess around nor any mercy. He'd woken to his own hangover that morning and dealt with it just before Wufei went to shower some five minutes prior to the shriek waking him once more.

Quatre and Trowa were up and dressed in seconds their hangover all but forgotten. They followed Duo to the shower and watched as he dressed the still unconscious Asian woman that lay there sprawled as though she'd slipped and hit her head on the bathtub. Once he was done dressing the mystery girl Duo stepped aside to allow Trowa to pick the girl up carefully and carry her to the only empty bedroom of the house. Heero joined them and told them all was secure and there were no signs of entry whatsoever. They resolved that they could only wait for the woman to wake up now and settled for waiting while Quatre went to make breakfast for them and some strong coffee.

Wufei groaned as he realized he now not only had yet again a massive headache, but also a sizable lump on his head from having slipped. Instantly the memories flooded back and he shot up grabbing at his chest.

"Holy shit it wasn't a dream!" he gasped out in shock. He noticed three things in just a few seconds. One; he didn't dream and hadn't gone insane. Two; his friends were in the room with him and had apparently dressed him and three; he had actually through means beyond his knowledge and against his will become a woman.

"Uhm miss?" Quatre began awkwardly when the girl sat up raptly and grabbed her chest before exclaiming she hadn't dreamt. He wasn't sure what was going on, but one thing was for sure; that woman hit her head pretty hard.

"What do you mean a dream? How did you end up in our shower and what have you done with our friend?" Heero said immediately. The woman looked up and scowled at them.

"What are you talking about Yuy?" Wufei demanded. It didn't occur to him at all that they might not recognize him now he was somehow being a woman.

"W-Wufei?" Duo gasped stepping back in shock.

"What?" Wufei demanded annoyed. Didn't they realize he was having enough trouble dealing with this situation without them acting like complete retards suddenly? Couldn't they see he wasn't very happy with suddenly being a woman?

"Y-you…you're…is that…are you…uhn…." Duo stammered trying to form a sentence that actually made sense. His mind just wouldn't compute what he just learned and it did the only logical thing in this situation; it shut down and the braided boy passed out. Heero caught him before he hit the ground and growled.

Putting Duo down gently Heero turned back to the woman and pressed his gun to her head.

"You got 10 seconds to explain what you're doing here and what you've done with Wufei." he hissed. The woman's scowl turned into a glare as she tensed.

"Yuy you twit I AM Wufei! Now put that gun down!" Wufei hissed back angrily. To everyone's surprise Heero jumped back as though he was stung. He'd dropped his gun in complete shock and stared at the woman who claimed to be his friend.

"No way…that's not possible…you…you're… " he gasped staring at Wufei.

"A woman! Yes I know! What I don't know is how I became a woman or why!" Wufei grumbled in annoyance. This whole situation had left him quite mortified. He wanted nothing more than for this to be a bad dream and to wake up soon in his bed as a man.

Some four hours later found the five uhm four men and now one woman in the basement of Preventors HQ. Said basement was now the home of a certain group of crazy old men. Said old men were currently running all kinds of tests on the Chinese ex-pilot. Sally who happened to be on her way to her office when they arrived at HQ was standing beside her now female partner watching the five men work with a critical eye.

"Okay. We've determined what has happened." J said proudly.

"He got turned into a girl. Yes, we know that much now how'd it happen!" Duo growled in annoyance.

"Ah yes, what I meant was we determined why he is now female." J said stepping back a bit.

"His genetics were altered overnight. A complex and none too gentle method was used to do this." H said calmly.

"We can only presume based on your respective recollection of yesterday's events that he was drugged, most likely through one of his cocktails. Side effects to such a drug would be the dizziness and light headedness he err she experienced as well as the splitting headache after the changes were complete." G said remaining safely away from all 6 young people in their lab.

"So can you do something about this?" Sally asked glaring at the doctors.

"Unfortunately we'll need to first get a sample of what they used which is near impossible. So a sample of his blood will have to suffice." S said quickly. Sally had woken them and been quite vehement in her threat on their collective manliness if they didn't do something for the poor Chinese uhm girl.

"And if you can't find a way to reverse it?" Quatre asked deadly calm, though the gleam in his eyes spoke of certain death if he did not get a satisfying answer.

"I'm afraid that until we know what they used we will not know how permanent this is or if there is even a way to turn him back. If this is irreversible then I fear Wufei will remain a woman for the rest of his natural life." O said nervously.

"You had best pray to your gods that there is a cure and I will not be a woman the rest of my life or so help me I will make sure you'll never be found alive!" Wufei said dangerously calm. His eh her onyx eyes gleaming with murderous intent.

"Please calm down Wufei. We'll do the very best we can, but it will take time. We'll need to run a few more tests. We want to do a full brain scan, a psychological reading and uhm a Physical examination." G said. Wufei growled. He didn't like where this was going nor did he like the way the five doctors looked at him.

Both Duo and Heero placed a hand on his shoulder before he could react though. He watched with open mouth as G was sent flying and landed on a large machine in the back of the room. Before him Quatre rubbed his fist and looked at the other four doctors. Duo let out a low whistle of admiration and Heero like Trowa smirked darkly.

"These tests will be done. By Sally. You'll be given the results to go over and I suggest you pull your minds out of the gutter; unless you fancy following your colleague." the blonde said calmly.

Wufei laughed amusedly. He couldn't help himself. The sight of the mad 5 err 4 cowering in a corner under the steady gaze of the petit blonde was just too funny not to laugh about and after the day he had so far he definitely needed a good laugh. Never mind that his friends were treating him like the woman he'd become. He could forgive them that much for now.

The four let Sally drag him off to the Preventors' med-lab and followed closely. When they returned to Quatre's apartment it was agreed that Wufei, Duo and Heero would stay there until Wufei's problem had been solved. Wufei only knew of himself being made to stay here though as he stalked off to his room to meditate before the other two were made to stay also.

Much had happened and Wufei found himself more than troubled by it. He sighed and stared at his reflection in the mirror. His body had changed. He noted that while earlier he'd been completely panicked by the fact that he was no longer a man and it felt like they took his spirit and put it in a girl's body. His body hadn't even felt like his own body. It was quite eerie that after a full day as a woman he'd gotten used to missing certain parts; though what he couldn't get used to was that his chest had apparently grown trice its usual size. With a pained groan he'd had to admit that there was no way out of it. He would need to go shopping in the morning.

Wufei sighed as he got ready for the night. He hated this, hated being a woman, hated the way it made his friends protect him, hated that his boobs got in his way and that they were so damned sensitive. He praised himself lucky though that he was in general not a very tall person and his chest size fit his body size or at least Sally thought so. Yes she'd been quite thorough in her investigation. Wufei shuddered at the thought of the physical exam. He had a renewed respect for women though. Their physical examination was much more detailed not to mention painful. Sally insisted on giving him a full physical which included removing genetic material from every part of him and she meant every part. He shuddered again at the memory his legs pressing together instinctively. It had not been pleasant. It had hurt and he'd cursed her and probably her entire ancestry as well as all her offspring to come and their offspring for the next five thousand generations to come. The other four pilots had wisely not entered the room until after Sally came out and told them it was safe. Worst had to be the white bag Sally had given him after telling him all about the female body and the other things he already knew. He'd listened through it all simply because he didn't wish to discuss with her the intricacies that led him to be married at age fourteen, but he really already knew about the female body and everything one needed to know.

He sighed. It wasn't so bad he supposed. He'd surprisingly quickly gotten used to the lacking feel in his lower regions, though he still tended to forget about it during visits to a certain little room. He supposed he had little choice but to just get used to it all. The doctors had quite happily stated that the chances of a reversal were next to none; the filthy perverts. Luckily they'd stopped looking at him hungrily after Heero told them quite coldly that he'd test his own way of turning a man into a woman. The good doctors got the message quickly though and lay off. They hadn't even looked at him once since that day last week.

Thank the gods. Luckily Heero had sacrificed himself and dragged Quatre along to distract Relena and Dorothy from their plans of 'dressing him up and doing a make-over'. He didn't need women cooing and coddling on him and putting frilly dresses and make up on him.

Being a woman was tiring and troublesome. He had been forced spend the entire day this day with Sally, Noin, Relena, Dorothy, Marimeia and Hilde. It wasn't looking to good for him.

"Come on Wufei. You need some new clothes. Those things you call clothes are really not doing you any justice." Dorothy insisted.

"I-" Wufei tried to reason back, but was cut off.

"She's right. Those white ones are far too baggy and you can't go and wear your preventor uniform all your life. The only nice thing you have in that closet is that ceremonial outfit." Relena agreed.

"How-" he tried once more only to be cut off again.

"Seriously you could do with new clothes!" Hilde and Marimeia both commented.

"I don't-" Wufei sighed.

"Come on Wufei. You know Noin and I will be there too, we'll steer them away from anything too girly. Besides you know they won't give up until you cave in and agree to go." Sally said going with her famed 'You know you're not going to get out of it.' method. Wufei silently glared at her as the four younger women tried their ever triumphing puppy eye technique.

"FINE! But I decide. No dresses, no skirts, nothing frilly and NO PINK!" Wufei finally blurted out in an attempt to keep some control over things. He then quickly covered his ears as aforementioned four women started to squeal in delight.

Before he knew it he was in some fashion store he didn't know the name of trying on all kinds of clothes that the six other women found for him. They demanded he show them with each item how it looked and there were three piles of clothes on the chairs outside the changing room now. The smallest of which consisted of clothes instantly dismissed. Wufei sighed as he tried to pull down the tight red t-shirt that hugged his body so tightly he wondered if he could breathe in it without ripping it apart. Relena pulled open the curtain and pulled the shirt off his head handing him another of the same kind, but slightly bigger. He tried only to have it taking in the same fashion and switched up another size.

"Oh that looks good on you. Try those black jeans with that." Dorothy said peeking over Relena's shoulder the minute Wufei finally managed to put the shirt on. He'd lost count by now of what number of shirts this was. Heck he lost count after the first ten they tried in that other shop.

Grumbling under his breath about insane women buying way too much he wriggled into the tight jeans that hugged his figure snugly, but not too tight. He then made use of the few woman free seconds to look at his reflection. He had to admit that it looked good on him err her. He wondered quietly if it would look as good on him if he were a guy again, but was distracted from it when Marimeia gigglingly stole his hair tie.

"Hey!" he cried indignantly turning fast and grabbing her by the back of her shirt.

"Let go!" Marimeia cried laughingly.

"Give it back." Wufei demanded glaring at her. Marimeia gulped and meekly handed the hair tie over then hid behind Sally who shook her head. Wufei ignored it and turned back to the mirror to fix his hair.

Five hours later Wufei found himself slumping into a chair at some food court. He was too tired to care which or why. He just wanted this nightmare called shopping spree to be over with. He longed to go home and take a nice long hot bath followed by a good book or some meditation. Anything was better than this nightmare. All those shirts and pants and the dresses they insisted he try out. Thankfully Sally was true to her word and persuaded the girls to drop the dresses and skirts.

The smell of food lured him from his thoughts as the other women returned and Noin put down a wonderful looking dish before him which he thanked her for before eating it. When Sally brought him a cup of his favorite tea though he knew she was up to something. She only did him favors like that when she had to convince him to do something she knew he wouldn't like.

"What do you want me to do woman." he asked grumpily resigning himself to it that he might as well find out and get it over with because there was no reasoning with these six.

"The girls want to go shopping for lingerie." Sally told him quietly. Wufei groaned and dropped his head on the table.

'That hurt…too bad I didn't knock myself unconscious…' he thought sourly.

At seven that morning six women stormed the apartment of Quatre and Trowa. At seven all who resided there were up much to their collective dislike and at eight four out of five stared at the van that pulled out of the driveway. They pitied their fallen comrade, but thanked the gods it was him and not them. Though that was in the morning. It was now almost nine in the evening and the girls had yet to return from their shopping spree. Attempts to call and find out what was taking them failed as everyone but their friend picked up his phone. After their last ditch attempt to talk to Wufei though they were very worried for their friend's sanity as well as the safety of the six girls with him. The word lingerie had come up followed by a loud thud.

That was four hours ago though and while Trowa and Quatre kept themselves busy despite their worry, Heero and Duo were nervous enough for the four of them. This surprised them, especially from Heero who had self-destructed without so much as blinking and now paced the room because their friend was still not back from his shopping nightmare.

Trowa had spent their time waiting by observing the former pilot of Wingzero with keen interest. Following the man's every move as he paced the room and muttered darkly under his breath.

"You know if you keep pacing you'll wear holes into the floor." Quatre commented dryly from beside Trowa. Heero threw them a glare and continued to mutter under his breath as Duo stubbornly tried once again to call Wufei. Then they heard the van pull up and seconds later slamming of doors and loud voices.

Heero walked up to the door only to have it slam open and a black and red blur storm past him up the stairs where a door slammed loudly followed by many profanities in Mandarin. Heero blinked and turned to the door where Marimeia stood staring into the house. She looked as though she was about to burst into tears.

"I…I don't understand…I just asked…I…why's she mad? I just wanted to know…" she murmured uncertain. Duo was the first to react and set to cheering Marimeia up with the hot chocolate that he'd just gone to fix himself. Trowa decided to leave this dilemma to someone else and help the other five women unpack the car.

Heero and Quatre stared at one another for several seconds long. A battle of wills took place to determine which of them would be dealing with the clearly seething Chinese upstairs. Then suddenly Quatre shot out of his seat and after Trowa leaving Heero to stare at him in shock.

'That dirty son of a...' he thought annoyed as he stalked up the stairs some five minutes later; he'd decided to make some tea for Wufei first and give the other a chance to calm down. He took a deep breath and knocked on Wufei's door.

"Get lost Yuy." came the answer.

"I brought you some tea. Thought you might want some after your shopping nightmare." Heero said calmly. The silence was tense, but after several minutes the lock clicked and the door opened. Wufei snatched the cup from Heero's hand and closed the door again.

"I…need to be alone right now. I'll be down shortly." Wufei said once he closed the door in Heero's face. Heero sighed softly.

"Alright." he said quietly before heading back down.

"Well?" Duo asked meeting him halfway.

"I'm not sure. He needs to be alone for now. He promised to be down shortly. I think he'll come down in a while and apologize for whatever happened." Heero said as he and Duo continued their way downstairs.

"Yeah…from what I heard so far he'd been annoyed from the shopping and when the girls asked questions they had words and Wufei ran off the moment they got home. That was after Marimeia asked him about the hair thing." Duo said quietly.

Wufei lied down on his bed and sighed deeply. He knew he'd have to apologize for losing his temper like that. Why had it upset him so much anyway? No he knew it wasn't her question. He'd been feeling off ever since this whole dilemma had begun. He wondered if maybe it had to do with the changes. He'd have to ask Sally about that. She'd probably know. However in order to discuss it with her he had to first apologize to Marimeia.

**Sigh, this is what you get when you're exposed to insane relatives for too long…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: G-cocktail.**

**Author: Kidishcaresh**

**Pairing: 02x05x01**

**Word count: **

**Timeline: AU-ish**

**Author notes: A spur of the moment fanfics that hit me out of the blue at 2:16 in the friggin night. I demand plot bunnies that bite me during the day instead of kicking me outta my bed in the middle of the night…I blame my insane relatives for this. Due to the line disappearing between two parts of my story where the view point changes I am forced to type OEOEO's in its place.**

**Summary: One spiked cocktail, one gundam pilot and a nights rest; the next morning all hell broke loose when he found that he was now a she.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC's and the idea.**

**Chapter 2,**

Wufei never did come down that evening. The others had let the girls spend the night as Quatre's mansion was big enough for it and the blond had no issues with it. They all went to bed after Heero came back down and reported that their Chinese friend had fallen asleep already.

Marimeia stared at the closed door quietly. It was still early in the morning, but she'd made up her mind and she would apologize to him for prying. She was in the middle of lifting her hand and knocking when she heard a pained cry from the room. Marimeia didn't hesitate she pulled out the knife Anna Une had given her for self defense and opened the door kicking it to make it go wide open and hopefully startle whoever had hurt Wufei. She held the knife out before her as she eased into the room holding it in a perfect pre-strike pose as Trowa had taught her. Looking around Marimeia found the room empty and Wufei staring at her in shock.

"Uh…you…I thought…shit…" she stammered before cursing and sighing. The others had all come out of their rooms the moment the door banged against the wall.

"Okay you can all go back to bed now and I'll just sink through the floor in embarrassment …." Marimeia mumbled as her face flushed bright red. The others at least could laugh at the situation; until Wufei grunted in pain again which had Sally by his side fussing instantly. She found nothing wrong with him though and after Wufei confirmed he'd be fine and it was just an upset stomach they all went their own way.

Marimeia had by then slipped down the stairs and into the game room. She hoped she'd be able to avoid everyone after the embarrassment. She'd been gaming for over an hour when an angry cry sounded through the house which had her falling out of her chair. She jumped up quickly and ran out to see what was up. In the living room she found Wufei pacing around angrily yelling in Chinese. Marimeia covered her ears quickly wishing now she'd chosen Spanish as her optional language instead of Chinese. She quickly backed out of the living room and into Heero just outside the door.

"Go make yourself breakfast. He'll calm down." Heero said calmly.

"Miss Une forced him off duty didn't she?" Marimeia asked as she turned to walk to the kitchen. Heero gave her a severe look and nodded.

Oeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

Heero watched Marimeia run down the hall quickly and then turned to look at Wufei. The other boy looked like he wasn't going to come down from his anger. Heero could kind of sympathize. Not only did the other pilot have a hard time adjusting to his body not being as strong and easily affected by things, but now he also couldn't go to work AND Une forced some agent or another onto Wufei as a babysitter; well she'd called it a guard, but it amounted to the same thing really. Suddenly Wufei slumped down half over the couch and with his face hidden remained there while he trembled something awful. Heero winced and decided it was time to do something even if his friend was going to kill him for it.

Oeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

Wufei spend more than thirty minutes ranting continuously. His anger at everything seemed to only increase as he paced back and forth beside the couch. He couldn't believe that Lady Une actually thought he'd be a liability on missions now. He cursed her and her bipolar idiocy as well as her entire ancestry while he was at it. He wanted to curse her offspring, but decided this was not fair to Marimeia and that he didn't want to ever think of what her biological offspring would be like. Finally he cursed his new female body and the constant aches he had in his lower stomach area since the middle of that night. He'd taken a painkiller for it and prayed it'd pass, but it'd come back with a vengeance.

Wufei had been in the middle of a good rant on how it should be forbidden for women to have so many inconveniences in one body when the pain intensified at an alarming rate. So much so that his legs gave out and he slumped half over the couch. He wrapped his arms around his stomach biting back a pained groan as his body trembled with the effort to block out the pains.

"You okay?" Heero's voice asked from close by as said boy rubbed Wufei's back.

"I-no…it hurts…damnit something's wrong. It hurts…I…c-call Sally…" Wufei gritted out. He might loath having to ask for it, but he wasn't stupid enough to ignore this pain as just another women's inconvenience. The pain was becoming rapidly blinding and he wasn't fool enough to deny that.

Oeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

Marimeia who'd been on her way back from the kitchen to the game room had heard Wufei's soft exclamation of pain when she passed the living room and ran toward the stairs.

"Sally! Wufei's hurting something awful! He said to call for you!" she called before jumping aside as said sandy haired woman came rushing down the stairs.

Oeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

Marimeia sat quietly in the waiting room with Heero and the other guys. Relena had left the hours ago with Dorothy in tow; Noin had gone home at the same time to safe Zechs from their three year old daughter and her crayons of doom. Marimeia still giggled at the memory of Zech's brightly colored face on the video phone begging his wife to come home and save him from the three year old monster. Hilde had remained at the house to inform the other girls of what happened.

That was hours ago though, now four nervous boys sat with Marimeia in the waiting room of the preventor medical wing while Sally was with Wufei. It seemed to take forever before she emerged from the operation wing.

"Well we've done all the tests I could think of and every scan and I've determined that while he was physically a woman on the outside he until last night had been at least male on the inside to some degree. The pains were caused by his body's inner structure rearranging." Sally said.

"Which translates to Wufei having grown a womb over night?" Marimeia asked quietly.

"Pretty much yes, it seems that this drug is still at work and the physical changes might not be the last of it." Sally said nodding to Marimeia.

"Meaning?" Heero asked the question the others dreaded.

"Meaning he will probably experience mood swings and other emotional instability." Sally said.

"In short he's going to be PMSing something awful." Marimeia said cleverly. This made the boys laugh despite their worries.

Wufei had to remain at the hospital wing for a few more hours until Sally was certain the newly grown womb was fully done developing. Due to the level of physical pain this had caused she'd decided to have Wufei be put to sleep until the worst of it was over. Normally a sex change was pretty painful to undergo, but having your gender altered on a genetic level was much worse and Sally wouldn't even wish this upon her worst enemies. Speaking of!

"Well you four and Meia can take Wufei home now. I have a certain group of old men to terrorize now." Sally said as she brought Wufei to the waiting room. He was sitting in a wheelchair and would've looked simply murderous if he hadn't been injected with a high doses of morphine to easy any after pains he was sure to have still.

Oeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

Wufei sighed softly. He'd found that the upside of all of this was that the four boys and Marimeia whom was made to stay at their house so her guard could guard Wufei as well were waiting on him hand and foot. He'd only had to express his hunger or thirst or need for anything and they'd give it to him. The downside of it was that the morphine meant that he was forced to endure the annoyance of having Heero carry him bridal style if he wanted to go to another room or needed a pit stop and he needed a chair and an observer just to make sure he didn't end up face first on the shower floor. He cursed this trice damned weak female body. It was weak and pudgy and squishy and sensitive almost all over and more then forty percent of those sensitive areas appeared to also have a rather uncomfortable effect on his nethers. Erogenous zones Sally had called them. Spots on the body that turned on and apparently women were not only weaker than men, but also more sensitive. All this wouldn't be so very troublesome if it weren't for the fact that his breasts were now especially sensitive and the slightest brush of anything caused a reaction Wufei wasn't sure of whether he liked or disliked it.

He was most annoyed though with the fact that his new female body seemed to recover much slower and apparently the stupid drug was now affecting his brains too as he was becoming emotional much easier. He was annoyed even faster than usual, cried at random moments and sometimes he just didn't know what he was feeling. To top off his most unfortunate disposition he now had to stay at home to be 'guarded'; which wouldn't be so troublesome if it weren't for the fact that Une decided that Heero was to be his guard and this meant that Marimeia would also stay with them as Heero was her guard as well.

Oeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

"Sucks doesn't it; threes?" Marimeia muttered as she stared at her cards.

"Hn, go fish; got any elevens?" Wufei grunted giving her an exasperated look.

"Dang, well now you know how I feel. Any ones?" Marimeia asked.

"Go fish, I want sevens…and tea." Wufei said looking at Heero who was watching their game.

"I'll go make some. Meia?" Heero said.

"Coffee please. No fair Wu." Marimeia said before handing over three sevens.

"Tough, any fives?" Wufei said as Heero left the room.

Heero chuckled as he could hear the two bicker from the kitchen. Marimeia was convinced Wufei had cheated and Wufei insisted he didn't need such a despicable trait to win a game against a girl. He heard Wufei run up the stairs and sighed. Of course Marimeia's retaliation that he was a girl too now had hurt Wufei. Marimeia walked into the kitchen seconds later looking rather confused and a little hurt.

"I didn't mean it bad…why's he have to be so angry?" she murmured. Heero sighed and put some coffee before here and sat down with his own cup while the water for the tea took its time to boil.

"It's not you. It's this situation. I think…for someone like Wufei who was raised traditionally like he was…it is harder still to accept this change then if it were Duo or Quatre or even myself who became a girl over night. You have to realize that in his culture women are not allowed to do much. Traditionally in China women were not allowed to fight, go to school, work or do any things that the Chinese deemed men's work or men's jobs. Women were only allowed to do the house work and tend to children. Wufei was raised by those standards and I know for a fact that he didn't like those tradition things and that's why I think there's probably more than just that, but for now it's mostly that his pride took a beating and if his remaining few relatives find out he'll be in a lot of trouble and could stand to lose everything and even be wedded off to some guy who doesn't know any better." Heero said calmly sipping his own coffee before getting up to tend to the tea.

Marimeia stood up too and took her coffee to the game room. She thought for a long while about what she now knew and decided she should apologize to Wufei for her behavior. So some four hours later she climbed the stairs and headed to Wufei's room. When he didn't answer her knocking she carefully checked if he was sleeping and found instead an empty room. She frowned and was about to leave when something in the corner caught her eye.

A drawer there was opened and she spotted a photo in it. Normally Marimeia knew better then to look at someone's private things, but the picture had her at the drawer instantly. She carefully lifted it up and examined it. It showed Wufei in some Chinese garments sitting beside a young woman in a Chinese dress that looked like she'd never be able to stand up alone in it with all those layers. The girl while looking very pretty in the clothes had something fierce and defiant about her; something almost fiery.

"Do you always snoop about people's private affairs?" Wufei's voice asked coldly behind her. Marimeia turned slightly and looked at him.

"I wanted to apologize, but you weren't here. I saw the photo and became curious. You wore glasses?" Marimeia asked quietly. She knew full well she'd wronged her friend yet again, but wasn't about to be scared of the other. She was only sixteen going on seventeen what did he expect? That she'd cower in a corner from one glare?

"I did, don't change the subject." Wufei said carefully taking the picture.

"I didn't I asked a question relevant to said subject. Also if you don't want people to find it you should hide it better. I'm a curious child that's why I'm also a very bright child." Marimeia said calmly. Wufei shook his head.

"You're not a child by my standards. You're a woman." Wufei said before ushering her out of the room.

Marimeia stared at the closed door and frowned. She wasn't certain of what just happened, but it felt like they'd made up without actually outright mentioning the happenings and Wufei wasn't as mad as he seemed about her finding the picture. That picture though bothered her. She needed to talk to someone now or it would eat at her forever. Since Heero was the only one there Marimeia headed out to find him.

She found Heero some thirteen minutes later in the shooting range. Marimeia waited for Heero to finish his exercise and watched at he hit bull's-eye again and again without even trying. Marimeia smiled sadly. It was almost ironic that Heero couldn't seem to miss even if he tried.

"What did you come to find me for little one?" Heero asked when his gun ran out of bullets and he began to clean it.

"I…found out something today and it confuses me." Marimeia said uncertain.

"Is that so?" Heero asked calmly.

"Yes, did…has Wufei ever mentioned to any of you?" Marimeia asked before thinking some more.

"Mentioned what?" Heero asked putting the now clean gun down and looking at her quietly.

"That…that he was married?" Marimeia finally asked.

"Ah…yes he mentioned, but it was clear he doesn't like talking about her so we never asked more. You saw the picture didn't you?" Heero said quietly. Marimeia nodded.

"I want to know more…I think…I think it will help us…help Wufei's situation if I knew more…" Marimeia said quietly.

She thought a moment longer then slowly a smile spread across her tiny face.

"You know where to get your answers huh?" Heero asked quietly.

"Yep and it will make Wufei happy too because tomorrow I'm going to visit mom at work and you'll need to both come with me!" Marimeia said smiling a simply devious smile that made Heero mentally shudder and pity whoever she was going to see at Preventors since it sure wasn't Lady Une.

**Sigh, this is what you get when you're exposed to insane relatives for too long…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: G-cocktail.**

**Author: Kidishcaresh**

**Pairing: 02x05x01**

**Word count: 1055**

**Timeline: AU-ish**

**Author notes: A spur of the moment fanfics that hit me out of the blue at 2:16 in the friggin night. I demand plot bunnies that bite me during the day instead of kicking me outta my bed in the middle of the night…I blame my insane relatives for this. Due to the line disappearing between two parts of my story where the view point changes I am forced to type OEOEO's in its place.**

**Summary: One spiked cocktail, one gundam pilot and a nights rest; the next morning all hell broke loose when he found that he was now a she.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC's and the idea.**

**Chapter 3,**

Heero smiled as Marimeia cleverly played Une into allowing them some time at Preventors. When Meia threw the 'don't you believe you can keep me safe in your own company building WITH Heero following me around?' card out there Heero knew she'd won. He filed this knowledge away for whenever one of them needed something and the lady didn't want to give them their way. Wufei might consider it dishonorable, but Heero had no trouble abusing a weakness when he felt the mission needed it. Duo and Quatre in fact would shamelessly abuse it any time they felt justified; should they know of it of course and Trowa…well he'd done worse when he infiltrated OZ and walked right out without OZ being any wiser and only Une had known, but she'd been too prideful to admit she'd let him infiltrate their ranks.

"I'll be done soon. Why don't you go keep an eye on Fei? He might overdo things if you let him train on his own. Besides only a first class moron with a death-wish would try and kill me INSIDE preventors." Marimeia said. Heero nodded in agreement and headed off to the gym to see to it that Wufei didn't kill half of the junior agents in a sparring match. Not that the Chinese man err woman actually would of course, but these agents were already poorly skilled when they were the picture of perfect health; Heero didn't want to know how much they'd fail after Wufei vented his anger on them.

Oeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoe o

Marimeia grinned as she watched the doctors bustle about their underground facility or lair as Duo had dubbed it. They hadn't noticed her yet and she knew she could've killed them easily if that had been her intention, but it wasn't. She kept her eyes on Master O who fiddled with some device in his hand and coughed softly. He looked up and shook his head.

"This isn't the place for children. You should go to your guardian now." he said sternly.

"I'm not just any child and I know you know that too. I want answers and you'll give them." Marimeia said getting up and wandering about as the other doctors watched her warily as well.

"And if I don't?" O asked raising an eyebrow and staring at her.

"What does this thingy do?" Marimeia asked sweetly as she grabbed a lever and pulled it causing a machine in the far corner to whir to life and send a rain of paint splatters everywhere. Doctor S ran toward the lever just as Marimeia slipped G's attempt to grab her and ducked under H's arms toward another button and pressed it.

"How about these?" she said running to more levers and buttons and pressing and pulling or pushing everything she could get her hands on. She grinned as the five doctors ran around shutting down machines she turned on left and right crying for her not to and that it would activate god knows what. Marimeia then skipped to the computer on the far wall and quickly keyed in a code Heero taught her that would make it seem like a system delete.

"ACK NOT OUR RESEARCH!" J cried angrily staring at the computer.

"Tell me what I want to know Master O? I'll bring back your research files if you do." Marimeia said sweetly still dancing out of the mad 5's grasp each time they tried to make a grab for her.

"And if I refuse?" O asked not about to give in to the demands of this madwoman.

"Mama Une won't be happy if your research is set back more hours. I will delete it all if you don't tell me what I want to know and…I'll press that big red button over there and that blue one and that little green one and those yellow ones over there! Oh or these golden ones or those silver levers there or-" Marimeia said skipping around the men to said big red button.

"ALRIGHT FINE! WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST STOP TRYING TO DESTROY OUR LAB!" H cried before glaring at O.

"YES!" O hastily agreed as Marimeia began to press the blue button.

"Good, now tell me all you know about this woman." Marimeia said producing her sketch of the photo she'd seen.

OEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Yuy? Where's Marimeia?" Wufei asked when he'd finished venting his anger on the gym equipment. It'd cost him a month's salary which he wouldn't miss anyways and caused quite the commotion among the trainees, but he felt a little better. He was still a woman and miserable about it, but he felt less ready to kill someone painfully at least.

"She…dang that little minx…played me right out so I forgot to ask…" Heero growled.

"I'm over here." Marimeia said walking into the gym.

"And where have you gone all this time little lady?" Wufei asked gruffly crossing his arms.

"Here and there." Marimeia answered sweetly.

Only Wufei ever called her that. The others either called her kid or Meia, but Wufei tended to call her little lady or little woman. It made her happy that he considered her mature rather than the child she was age wise. Heero eyed Marimeia and decided he did not want to know what she'd been up to while he was doing his best to make sure Wufei left at least one item in the gym unharmed. Besides it was better not to know that way he could always plead ignorance.

**Sigh, this is what you get when you're exposed to insane relatives for too long…**


End file.
